Another way to love her

The editor wanted me to write about Kate Mountbatten-Windsor for Icon of the Month.  ‘Well,’ I thought, ‘she is an icon and Kate Middleton is an anagram of Naked Tit Model so there must be something to say about her’ – and so I tried.

A week later I picked up the phone. ‘Simon,’ I said. ‘My problem is that I couldn’t give a monkey’s about Kate Mountbatten-Windsor and if I’m going to do something that involves arranging childcare, it’s got to be something I care …